Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
