Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Randomize
