Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
