Don't you send me to vm
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
