I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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