She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
