She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
