My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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