I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
