i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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