Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize