her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
this boner is exhausting
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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