don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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