Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize