I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
