i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
