She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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