i may or may not be watching the land before time
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
