oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize