HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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