Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
