i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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