If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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