1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
