You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
