i can't believe i had my finger in that
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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