More tranny stories later!
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
