I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
