on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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