i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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