i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
