He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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