you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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