Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize