wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
