you're like a bully in the Christmas story
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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