why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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