stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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