U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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