it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
