i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Randomize
