Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize