Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
