Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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