Barsexuality is the new black.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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