Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
