What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
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