normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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