went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
