dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize