take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
