Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
it's like iHOP with fire
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
