but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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