That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
