I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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