He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
