Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
