There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize