Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Randomize
