take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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