I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
is it fun? or sober?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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