Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
