I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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