someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
