I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
