Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
