Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize