Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
