Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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